Their skin tight lycra barely contains their massive throbbing riffs and fist-pumping anthems. They make The Darkness look demure, Spinal Tap seem sedate. Opening track 'Death To All But Metal' sets the agenda:
"Fuck the Goo Goo Dolls, they can suck my balls,
They look like the dogs who hang out at the mall.
Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre,
They can suck each other, just because they're gay.
They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack,
Everybody shout, heavy metals back!
DEATH TO ALL BUT METAL!"
Subtle it ain't, rocking it is.
They're sexiest certainly, but also sexy as hell. Every song on the album is about the bands notorious love-making prowess. They love all types of ladies whether they be, ahem, groupies, strippers or hookers. Steel Panther don't discriminate.
It's not all about male gratification though, the Panther always ensure their lady-folk are satisfied as they go to great lengths to explain on 'The Shocker' and 'Eatin' Ain't Cheatin''. I'm not sure I need to elaborate further.
Despite their ball-swinging bravado they do have a more tender side. 'Girl From Oklahoma' is sweet acoustic tribute to a teenage groupie with braces. Its cut from the same cloth as Mr Big's 'To Be With You'. 'Community Property' is a straight soft rock ballad that channels Aerosmith 'Don't want to Miss a thing". Lead singer Michael Starr croons:
"I would give you the stars in the sky but they're too far away,
If you were a hooker, you know, I'd be happy to pay,
If suddenly you were a guy, I'd be suddenly gay,
'cause my heart belongs to you,
My love is pure and true,
My heart belongs to you,
But my c*ck is community property"
Steel Panther are a brilliant pastiche band with their tongues lodged firmly in cheeks (and in other intimate places). But the knowingly offensive smut is inventive in ways you can't imagine, plus they're backed up by brilliantly catchy hooks and perfectly constructed soft rock stadium anthems.
Forget 11, these guys go up to 12!
'DEATH TO ALL BUT METAL'
'FAT GIRL (THAR SHE BLOWS)'
'COMMUNITY PROPERTY'
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